When aliens finally part the heavens and descend upon the floating rock that we call Earth, they will bring with them the most ruthless, the most fearsome, the most horrifying weapon mankind will ever know.
These sinister creatures will bring with them technology that has only been thought of in the cold sweats of a 2am nightmare – a technology that will cause even the Donald Trumps and Elon Musks of the world to tremble.
Strapped into cold metallic chairs, our brains will be painlessly poked, prodded, and probed while the extraterrestrial beings search the never ending network of neurons for deep-seeded and repressed memories.
They aren’t searching for memories of abuse or trauma.
They aren’t they erasing our most beloved memories of a life once lived.
Their nefarious plans are much more menacing and malevolent.
Once the neuron network is scanned and the memories are found, you will be released from the chair and prompted to return to your holding cell. The final part of their plan is about to commence.
After some time of sitting in your damp chamber of solitude contemplating what just happened, a slithering beast will enter and escort you into a theater-like arena. An innumerable amount of black silhouettes shuffle silently in the audience; you can’t make out if they are human or extraterrestrial, but you can feel their eyes peering into your soul. As you stand there in the spot light you become aware of the giant projector-like screen behind you – and it just jumped to life with color. A television show begins to play in front of your eyes, one that seems so familiar yet foreign.
Then it hits you.
You’re watching your memories, but not just any memories – You’re watching your most cringe-worthy, most uncomfortable, and most mortifying memories.
In your state of shell-shock you can hear the distant roar of laughter coming from the audience, you can can feel each set of eyes thundering with delight and void of any pity, laughing at your most intimate and deepest buried memories.
As you stand there in sheer awe and disbelief to what’s going on around you, you suddenly realize that a smirk has crept onto your face. You’re watching the memories that you replayed over and over in your head for decades thinking they were the most soul-crushing experiences – only to realize that they weren’t actually that bad.
You realize that your internal dialogue has been nothing but a liar all these years, only bringing you down and making you feel worthless by feeding you a constant stream of baseless guilt and embarrassment.
Most of the memories are actually quite funny when viewed from a distance.
While you bellow with cheer and delight along side the faceless audience, you make one final realization: The sinister and nefarious aliens that parted the sky to bring fear and devastation only wanted to help – to help us break the chains of our past and free us from future fruitless thoughts, to inspire us to accept our actions and decisions, and to laugh alongside our mistakes and successes alike.